God is a murderer

One of my English Major courses included a book that I refused to read– and not just because I was a prudish Christian.  It was about a family of vampires– a family of incestual vampires who had a lot of sex with each other.  The book was supposed to be offensive, so I didn’t have any trouble informing the instructor that the book was disgusting and I wasn’t going to read it.  He didn’t seem to mind, and I ended up acing the class, but I still have a little trouble understanding postmodernism on account of the completely over-the-top distraction this novel provided.  Or maybe being a completely over-the-top distraction is postmodernism?


The book was written by one of the professors at the university, which I suppose is kindof neat in theory, since the author came to speak to us one day about his book.  Unfortunately, his book talk was basically one long rant which included the sentence, “God murdered my grandmother,” which was repeated a few times for emphasis.  I wasn’t offended, but I was confused.  It didn’t compute.  In my mind, if you believe in God, you generally believe that he is good and loving and in charge and in control.  And while I suppose an alternative to this is to hate God for all those reasons, minus the good and loving part I guess, I don’t understand why not just shrug the whole God thing off and become an atheist.  Maybe some people really can’t make sense of the world without a supernatural being pulling all the strings.  When something bad happens to someone you love, maybe it is helpful to have a God to direct all your anger at– especially if we’re talking about a sweet old lady who died in her sleep.


So that was my introduction to the so-called problem of evil.


I wonder, now.  Was this guy angry about death; did it fear it, perhaps?  Was he just as addicted to his feelings as the Christian who raves about how much she loves Jesus?  Maybe it’s the danger of having a “personal relationship” with an invisible man who controls everything… it’s a recipe for disaster is what it is.


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2 Responses to “God is a murderer”

  1. coogan607 Says:

    Like … wow. Obsessed with the death of his grandmother, and blaming “god” for doing it. Did he want an apology? Revenge on god? (I’d be interested to hear about that one.) Did he want to be personally struck down for his “sins”? (Like the desperate man trying to commit suicide by police–he eggs them on until they finally take action.) Too bad there’s no god out there to give him his wish. That’s where I see a connection between the offensive book and “god murdered my grandmother.” He’s daring god to do something–anything. Sad.

    I’d have been with you, deciding there’s no god, and not just assuming there is a god but that he’ll be offended or saddened or moved by my pathetic actions. The man is childish. A temper tantrum from an infantile person. “Pay attention to me, god!” Acting out. A narcissist, probably.

    I have no idea. These are just some random thoughts.

    BTW, I’m building up to “come out” as an atheist, though I don’t know why it’s so important. I’d been content to sit quietly in the background thinking and formulating, but not stepping forward and challenging (at least not publicly). No longer am I content, but I’m still not sure *why*.

  2. notreallyalice Says:

    “Looking for attention” was the feeling I was getting, too. I never thought of it as trying to get God to notice him, though. That’s a good way to look at it.

    I’m an out atheist, but it’s not like I threw a party, or anything. I pretty much just do my thing like I always have. You’ll figure out the best approach. I was quickly comfortable saying I was an atheist, but understanding evolution gave me confidence, also.

    Be sure of yourself, then put a little picture of Richard Dawkins in a pope’s hat on your office door, or something 🙂 Instant out atheist!

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