Yoga

I hear a lot of smack talk from skeptics about how Yoga is just glorified stretching with a lot of spiritual-sounding mumbo jumbo.  Now first, I’ll be frank (“I thought you were Alice!”) : If you have a very low tolerance for Woo, and if the words “chakra” and “energy” bother you, then Yoga might not be a good fit for your particular fitness needs. 

 

If you can find a Yoga teacher who teaches the purely physical aspects of the practice, then you might be set.  It is, after all, a rediculously good workout, including muscle strength and endurance, and relief from the physical affects of stress on the body.

 

But if you are comfortable with using the language as metaphor or imagery or as guided meditation, then I advise that you check out Yoga Today for a free hour-long yoga class.  Clear out a towel-sized space in front of your computer, get into something comfortable, pick the beginner class, and try to make it through the whole hour. 

 

It will probably hurt.  And you will probably love it. 

 

The class instructor always suggests that you set an intention for the day’s practice, and I usually can’t come up with anything.  This morning I picked “freedom,” however, and that’s what I keep reminding myself when my legs ache and ache from all that damn Down-Dog.  It’s not pain.  It’s freedom.  And I’m surprised at how that makes me stand up a little straighter as I go about my day.  It sure beats “Oh my god my legs hurt I never want to do that again.”

 

And be warned: they often use Sanskrit names for the poses.  But get over it.  Dance students don’t complain about learning French.

 

Finally, in my opinion, the best way to improve on your atheist status is to have a hot ass, too.  And when people are skeptical, just say, “Yoga is baloney, huh?  Then how do you explain THIS?” and turn around and wiggle your ass at them.

 

Logical fallacies are like lying: morally okay as long as it’s funny.

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