I quit taking antidepressants on Sunday after halving my already-low dose for a week.  I decided this without a doctor’s supervision.  I figure, if they really cared, they would have worried and called me when I didn’t make that follow-up counseling appointment two months ago.  Plus, I have unintentionally overlapped a lovely morning coffee habit with quitting the meds, so in a way, I have replaced one small crutch with a smaller one.  Plus, coffee is delicious while little purple pills are mostly flavorless.

I am very excited about getting my self back in order without medication.  So far the only changes I’ve noticed are that I get tired earlier, my appetite has gone back up, and I feel some small spots of sadness when I have nothing to do.  But now, instead of ignoring it and letting it get worse, I get up and do something.

I plan to start writing again but I am struggling with that.  All my old stories tend to make me a little sad for reasons I won’t get into now.  And my current story idea is really overwhelming me.  But it is the perfect time to start practicing a little discipline in my creative life.  As Elizabeth Gilbert said in her TED talk on creativity, “I showed up for my part!”

Gosh I’m hungry. 

My coffee this morning was award-winning and locally roasted (and a decent bargain!), ground by myself at home (in my spice grinder, which is actually a coffee grinder), and made in a French Press, which is kinda neat because I like my little morning ritual to be hands-on.  I recently realized that the idea of saving time and using machines to save work is a little wierd.  I mean, if I really want something, shouldn’t I be the one working to get it?  If I really want hot chocolate, shouldn’t I make hot chocolate rather than buy a stupid box of hot chocolate mix?  Hot chocolate mix??  For crying out loud, there’s only two ingredients in hot chocolate, not counting the milk.  You can even use water. And they sell mixes for this?  And coffee!  You soak the grounds in hot water for a few minutes.  You need a machine to do this?

What kind of world are we living in, I ask you.

Although I admit I used the microwave to heat my water.


2 Responses to “medication”

  1. Sisyphus Fragment Says:

    That was the first TED video I saw about two weeks ago. Since then I’ve been hooked on watching those things.

  2. notreallyalice Says:

    Re TED videos, Brian Cox on the Large Hadron Collider is pretty awesome, too.

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