change of plans

Okay, I don’t know if anyone even remembers, but I was supposed to be growing things in my backyard and having goats and chickens.  This is not going to happen because I decided to move in with my grandmother.  She’s sick, basically dying of cancer.  But she is mobile– the problem is that she just can’t handle being alone.  I’ll spare you the details, but she basically gets scared and calls 911 a lot.  My family has been paying a caretaker for live-in care, and I was invited to live with her– they would pay me and cover living expenses like food and utilities.  I’d be cheaper than the nurses-in-training they are paying now, and of course they get to keep the money in the family.

This was tempting since I have no income and the economy is a little scary now.  I initially decided against it because I was trying to put together my future as an unmarried person and get my new career plans in order.  But I finally realized (i.e., my housemate finally got it through my head) that I’d be a fool not to take the opportunity– not only because I’d finally have income, but mostly because I’d regret it if I didn’t take the opportunity to get to know my grandmother better before she dies.  Plus, I’d have plenty of time to review and plan and even start to implement my new life at grandma’s.  And, while she probably won’t eat the wierd Indian food that I love to cook, she does have a fully-functional and traditional kitchen, which will be nice.  (Right now I have regular stove and oven, but without ventilation hood, so we do some cooking outdoors over propane.  Plus, the house is so often in shambles due to it’s being a fixer-upper-in-progress that I have little counterspace to speak of.  Not that I’m complaining exactly, it’s just a little unusual.)

Anyways, now I feel I’m almost back to where I started.  My grand plan to raise food in my backyard is down for the count– but not completely.  My grandma’s yard is tiny and almost completely shaded.  But that will help me be more creative.  And my mom’s yard has plenty of sun, and mom wants chickens!

This could turn out to be a very neat year.  I’ll need to focus on my motivation and determination.  I have a bad habit of getting discouraged and giving up when things turn out to be more difficult than I anticipated.  I blame that partly on my old religion, which somehow taught me that if the road is too rocky, then God is trying to say it’s not his will.  Of course that’s due to my laziness too, I’m not trying to absolve myself completely.  It just seems that every time I notice a bad trait in myself, I immediately make a connection to something I was taught in Christianity and how that teaching made my negative traits worse, or re-inforced them.  To be fair I should consider my good traits and see how Christianity encouraged them.

But like I said, even if I can’t move my plans forward in practice, I’ll be able to improve my habits and character traits.  That counts for a lot in my book.

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3 Responses to “change of plans”

  1. Audrey Says:

    You need to investigate container gardening. And get window boxes to grow things in. Just keep in mind you’re getting the same end via different means, regarding the overall “plan”.

  2. atheisthomesteader Says:

    I’m sure your grandmother wouldn’t mind a new strawberry patch or a few berry bushes out back. You don’t need acreage to plant a good little variety. Sneak some peas in along the fence. Plant some bean bushes along the side of the house. Stick some potted tomatoes on the porch. Herbs can be grown in windows. Potatoes can easily be raised in tire stacks or garbage cans.

    And don’t forget about Farmer’s Markets. You can always stock up on tasty fresh fruits and veg there. Don’t give up though. If you want it badly enough, and you work at it… then you will get it eventually.

    I’m sorry I haven’t checked in with you as often lately. We moved out to a farmhouse and have no internet access there. I’m sitting in front of the library right now mooching their wifi. 🙂 I hope you are doing better, staying positive. If you’d like, I’ll send you some home-grown and -canned preserves and whatnot this fall. I know free jams always perk me up. Toodles!

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