since you asked

Just a quick catchup for anyone who’s still reading… and for myself, because I really need to write more.

Granma died two weeks ago.  I am still living in her house, supposedly sticking around to help my dad out.  He doesn’t ask me to really do anything, though.  So I have mostly been staring out the window feeling sad, watching Cooking Channel, cooking my Indian food, hiding photos and other family paraphernalia (to make the house a little more neutral– it’s kindof weird to be alone in my grandparents’ house), or throwing granma’s knickknacks out (don’t tell dad– I’m doing him a goddamn favor, considering all the shit gma had, but he’s got a bit of a be-in-charge-of-everything problem).

I inherited granma’s dog.  She is an awesome little friend but doesn’t know how to be a dog.  Working on that.

Still recovering from divorce.  More on that later.

Still recovering from losing my faith.  Much more on that later.

My family is kindof insane right now.  Hard to trust them.  My dad and one sister are addicts (alcohol and pot, and meth), my mom is a classic enabler, one sister is doing fine but in a pretty solid partying phase, and my brother liked my ex-husband a lot and doesn’t want to know why I left, so I don’t exactly trust him right now.  I am trying to focus on supporting my mom and helping her feel ready to escape the place.

And, I am preparing to move back to Southern California.

Gotta get my life together.  I think I am ready now.  Or, I am ready to be ready… somewhere in there.

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2 Responses to “since you asked”

  1. Laura Says:

    Yikes. I’m glad you’re still alive but things sound rough. Just want you to know I’m “listening”.

  2. teambaby Says:

    Oh wow, I just checked in for the first time in months. Definitely sounds like a case where an anonymous blog might help keep you sane. Sorry to hear about your grandma, and everything else.

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